Why is Tina so nice?

By Sharon-Kathleen Corner
(names can be changed!)

Why Is Tina So Nice? 
Jamie: Hey! Have you seen Tina? 

Natalie: Yeah! What is up with that? 

Sydney: What? What is up with what? 

Jamie: You mean you haven’t seen her? 

Natalie: How could you miss it? Like UGH! 

Sydney: What UGH! 

Jamie: I can’t believe it! She’s so like… like… 

Paul: Oh my gosh! What is up with Tina? 

Natalie: I know… like UGH! 

Sydney: What UGH?! 

Paul: She… hugged… me. 

(Others gasp) 

Sydney: (in shock) Hugged you? 

Jamie: Like, like, like… TOUCH hugged? 

Paul: Hello! We’re talking, like, full body hug! 

Natalie: Like UGH! 

Jamie: And get this… She was nice to Eric! 

(Others gasp again) 

Paul: WHAT?! She was nice to Eric!? 

Sydney: Eric?! Eric?! Like, annoying dork Eric? 

Jamie: Yes! She said “Good morning Eric!” 

(Paul acts like he’s going to throw up, others gasp) 

Natalie: UGH! 

Sydney: I can’t believe she was nice to ERIC! 

Natalie: And hugged you! UGH! 

Paul: Come on! It’s not like I smell or anything! Friends hug you know, no big deal! 

Natalie: Tina does NOT hug! Tina is too COOL to hug! 

Jamie: Something is up. 

Sydney: But What? 

Natalie: I don’t know, but something’s up. 

Jamie: Maybe, she has a boyfriend. 

Natalie: Hmmm, maybe. 

Sydney: Who? 

Paul: Maybe it’s me! Maybe THAT’S why she hugged me. 

(Others laugh) 

Paul: Oh, my gosh! Why not me? 

Natalie: Sorry but… (laughs more) 

Sydney: Natalie! That was SO not nice! 

Jamie: Paul and Tina? Oh how funny! 

Paul: Thanks! 

Natalie: It has to be… No way, it’s not because she ISN’T in love! 

Sydney: WHO? 

Jamie: Oh my gosh! There she is! 

Natalie: Oh my gosh, she is like… so… UGH! She is smiling! 

Sydney: Yeah, she is! She is… smiling! 

Paul: Ha ha! She kinda looks pretty with that smile. 

Jamie: No! Something is SO not right here! Tina does NOT smile! 

Natalie: She sneers! 

Sydney: She frowns! 

Paul: She yells! 

Jamie: She does NOT smile! 

Natalie: She is not FRIENDLY! 

Sydney: Mainly not to dorks! 

Paul: Not to anybody! 

Jamie: I mean, just look at her, she’s being so… so nice! 

Natalie: UGH! Did she just hug JULIE?! 

Sydney: Yeah, she did! She just hugged Julie! But she’s always so mean to Julie! 

Natalie: UGH! 

Paul: Oh my gosh! David just hugged her! 

Jamie: Here she comes! 

Natalie: Quick! Look normal! 

(Tina goes around to entire group, hugging each and saying hello. They all shy away and look VERY uncomfortable) 

Tina: Hi! How are you doing! Hey everyone! 

Sydney: What is UP with you? 

Tina: Nothing! Everything! Life is wonderful! 

Paul: Oh my gosh! The aliens came down here, and left this robot to replace 
the real Tina! (others laugh) 

Tina: It’s nothing like that! 

Natalie: UGH! You’re in love, right? 

Tina: Well, yeah, sort of. And it’s wonderful! 

Jamie: Who? I mean who has made you like… like… 

Natalie: UGH! Like you took too many happy pills this morning! 

Paul: It’s me right? It’s me? 

Tina: No, Paul, not you! (Paul looks dejected, starts to walk away) 

Tina: I mean, no! That came out wrong! I’m sorry, I DO love you Paul. I love all of you. 

Jamie: Why? I mean, where’s the Tina we all know and sneer? Oh my gosh! Are you dying?! 

Tina: No! I found love! I am loved! I feel HIS love! 

Paul: Hold on! 

Sydney: Um, WHAT?! 

Natalie: Who’s love? 

Tina: Jesus Christ! 

Jamie: Oh my gosh! She’s flipped! 

Natalie: UGH! You aren’t going to start haning out with those goody two-shoes FREAKS at lunch are you? 

Tina: Yes I am! They taught me about HIS love, and I’ve NEVER felt happier! 

Natalie: UGH! I’m so outta here! (walks off with Sydney) 

Jamie: Me too! Keep your Jesus love to yourself Tina! Goodbye! (walks off) 

Paul: Me too! Peace! Love, love, love, love, love! (walks off) 

Sydney: (comes back onstage) Tell me about it? 

Tina: Sure! Let’s go sit over here.